About 5 percent of us suffer from compulsive shopping, and even more struggle with lesser forms of overspending, says Terrence Shulman, founder of the Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft and Spending. As spending money has become easier through the Internet and credit cards, Shulman says more people seem to experience problems with self-control.
Signs of shopping addiction include the inability to stop oneself from making purchases, conflicts with loved ones over expenditures, and lying about shopping. While many people love shopping, people who do it compulsively do it despite negative consequences, such as going deep into debt, says Jon Grant, associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Minnesota, which houses a clinic for impulsive disorders. "They might get a lot of enjoyment from buying the item, but by the time they get home they're uninterested ... It's not about the acquisition of the item itself, it's about the experience of acquiring it. They get a rush from it," he says.
If you or someone you know has a shopping addiction, experts suggest the following:
Be nonjudgmental. "People don't like to disclose they feel out of control, and they feel embarrassed by the amount of debt they have," says Grant.
Give a helping hand. Grant says if a family member is willing to take over the checkbook or finances of a person struggling with compulsive shopping, it can help them regain control. If that's too much of a burden, a professional money manager can fill that role, he says.
Discuss gifts in advance. Instead of splurging on pricey presents, families and friends can talk ahead of time about exchanging skills or favors such as house cleanings. "There's a hangover after the new year when people are in a bad state after having gorged themselves," says Shulman. "What if we could take a breath early on and say, 'Let's make these holidays different.'"
Consider therapy. Grant says cognitive behavioral therapy that encourages people to understand their actions and the longer-term consequences can help. It can also teach people skills such as using cash instead of credit cards or not going to stores when they feel depressed or stressed.
Look at possible medications. While studies on the effect of medications on compulsive shopping haven't reached any hard-and-fast conclusions, antidepressants or antianxiety medications are sometimes helpful, Shulman adds.
Check out 12-step programs. Most towns and cities have Shoppers Anonymous, Debtors Anonymous, or Overspenders Anonymous programs that operate much like Alcoholics Anonymous. "For some people, it becomes a spiritual path," says Shulman.
Find new activities. Compulsive shoppers often need to replace old habits and even friendships with new, healthier ones. Non-shopping related activities can include sports, book clubs, or cooking.
